Monday, October 12, 2015

Equal Opportunity Face Blotting

Today I had to explain oil blotting sheets and t-zones to two teenage boys who were super fascinated by a girl who was using them. My job is weird sometimes.

Friday, October 9, 2015

Basic Names

An email from K:

"Student: If you can find your name on a key chain then your parents are basic."

[Note from M: She then sent me a list of student names, which I wish I could share with you because MAN there are some insane names.  BTW, you should listen to this Freakonomics podcast episode about names.]

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Put on your listening ears!

I had my students come up with a theme for the novel we were reading. I told them it should be original, aka: not googled, because I had googled all the possible themes and I'd know if they stole someone's theme.  Then this happened:

Kid: Is "love" a theme?
Me: What did I say a theme had to be?
Kid: A full sentence.
Me: Is love a full sentence?
Me: OK, so try again.
Kid pulls out his phone.
Me: What are you doing?
Kid: Googling it.
Me: What did I tell you NOT to do?
Kid: ...Google it.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Coolness = Staying Up Late?

An email from coworker S:

"So today the students asked: How much sleep do you average. 
Me: 8 hours. 
Students: So what time do you go to bed. 
Me: Around 10:30/11 
Students: Oh so you're one of the cool teachers.

Not quite sure how bedtime equates with coolness, but apparently I'm cool."

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Netflix and Chill, Part II

Yesterday I posted about "Netflix and chill". UGH. Then I had to explain the concept to one of my coworkers. Her response?

"Huh, I definitely couldn't watch an episode of 'House of Cards' and have sex at the same time."

We're officially adults.

Monday, October 5, 2015

Netflix and Chill, Part I

One day last week I had Netflix pulled up on my computer, which was being broadcast on my overhead projector. The kids were all excited because they were getting to watch something. 

One kid, when he walked in, asked "Dude, are we going to Netflix and chill?!"

To which I replied, "Uh, you know what that means, right? If not, maybe you should google it. If so, stop being gross, sit down, and shut up."

Too far? I think not.

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Saturday Special: Three Things, Vol. 37

I try to vary my subjects for Three Things, but I read two really fantastic books last week, so today we're talking about two books and an album.

1. Aaron Hartzler's What We Saw 

 After the Steubenville rape case happened, I had a lot to say, both on this blog and in real life. I made my students talk about it. We discussed consent and what that means for everyone. When I read about Aaron Hartzler's new book a few months ago, a story that takes small town Iowa, a party gone wrong, and a high school basketball team, and uses them as a stand-in for the horrifying events in Steubenville, Ohio. This book is hard to read. So hard. I had to stop reading on several occasions, a couple of them to cry. But it's also an Important Book and one all teenagers should be required to read. They need to know their actions have consequences and maybe they'll finally understand. I'm recommending every adult I know, whether or not they have kids, read it at well. So read it and let me know what you think.

2. Julie Murphy's Dumplin'

Any book that advises, "Maybe ’cause you don’t always have to win a pageant to wear a crown." is a book that can win me over. After you finish being devastated by What We Saw, cleanse your palate with this charmingly wonderful book about confidence and being your badass self. As someone who has always had body issues, I wish this book had been around when I was 16, because Willowdean, a sassafras Texas girl, is a fantastic role model for anyone looking to be happy with who they are. Also, it helps that the Forever Young Adult girls cast my inappropriate crush Dylan O'Brien as Willowdeans' love interest Bo. Again, read it and let me know what you think.

3. Ryan Adams' "1989"

I love Ryan Adams and have for a long time. Heartbreaker is one of my top five favorite albums. When he announced he was going to cover Taylor Swift's "1989" album, I was cautiously optimistic.  I downloaded it the day it was available on iTunes, spent my prep listening while grading, and fell in love.  Some of the songs definitely aren't a good at the originals, but a few might be better. For example, the covers of Bad Blood and I Wish You Would (the latter is my favorite song on the original album) are fantastic and addictive. Please click the links, listen, and enjoy.

Friday, October 2, 2015

Driving Tips From Freshmen

An email from K...

"You only drive with one foot even though there are two pedals."

I responded, "Unless you're my mom, because she's the only person I know who drives with both feet, which is why she wasn't allowed to teach my sister and me to drive."

Thursday, October 1, 2015

I'm 34 not 84.

Kid: I'm going to subtweet you.
Me: Dude, first of all, you don't follow me on twitter. And second, I know what subtweet means. I'm 34 not 84.
Kid: Wait, so you were 17 when I was born...
Me: Good math skills.
Kid: Did, like, your life become so much better when you were 17 and I came into the world?
Me: No, and my life got significantly more annoying when I turned 34 and a half and found out you were in my class.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Personal Finance! Don't pay your bills, you get convicted!

An email from reader S, who teaches FACS...

"Question: Lisa and her husband would like to buy a house soon. She continuously pays bills late. How do her actions affect her and others?

Answer: If she keeps paying the bills late then they might get convicted or kicked out of their home."