Thursday, July 31, 2014

What makes you amazing?

  • Strong 
  • Brave 
  • Fearless 
  • Fierce ("in loyalty, friendship, opinions, etc") 
  • Funny 
  • Enabler ("You know why." I do know why, and she's right.) 
  • Kind 
  • Sassy ("The second word is real. The third is beloved. The fourth and fifth words are fucking and awesome." That was from my sister.) 
  • Ebullient 
  • Unapologetic 
  • You-ish (I loved this.) 
  • Self-Assured 
  • Quirky (" individual. I think that's what I mean by quirky. Because sometimes people use quirky to mean strange.") 
  • Real 
  • Dependable ("...that doesn't sound very nice....I feel like your friends and colleagues can always count on you for nice things and to always follow through with what you say you're going to do..." My response was, "Only if you're not a [then I used the c-word, sorry folks, but I'm a user the c-word].") 
  • Intimidating 
  • Empathetic 
  • Happy 
The other night L and I went out to ice cream and asked each other these questions.  I changed the last question, knowing we'd both be bad at answering it, and instead I asked her "What makes me amazing?", then answered the same about her.  As a person who knows me very very well, L answered I'm strong and fearless.  I laughed.

I've always had a self-confidence problem.  I'm a self-doubter.  I've become more introverted as I've gotten older.  But if you ask anyone who knows me, they'll argue that's bullshit.  As an example, as you'll see above, I asked a handful of people who really know me to tell me what one word they think describes me best.  "Fierce" was the one I heard from most people.

This summer I've been working on myself, physically (getting my lazy ass to the gym) and mentally.  One major thing I'm working on is being the person other people see when they look at me (example: see list of traits above).  That doesn't mean to care about what other people think, but I've always said if people could just see themselves how other people see them, then the world would be a better place.  I'm a victim of that as well.  

I'm saying it out loud: I need to accept my awesomeness (which makes me feel like an asshole to say, but it's part of the deal) and go with it.  I've always been afraid of confidence because, look at the previous sentence, it seems strong women have to apologize for their awesomeness. For loving themselves. For being confident.  But I need to get over that.   One challenge I gave myself at the beginning of the summer was to go out for a meal at a sit-down restaurant alone once a week. I never did dinner, but I did many lunches and even Sunday brunch, which was especially hard.  It was a practice in getting over certain social anxieties and stigmas.  I brought my Kindle, or just watched and listened to people around me (which sound super creepy, but whatever).  I spent time with myself, my awesome self, my awesome confident self, not caring what people thought when they saw a girl having a meal by herself.

So this is me, bring brave and strong and fearless, and putting personal stuff out there (letting it go, if you will) in hopes that someone else will understand and maybe learn something.

What makes me amazing?  I just fucking am.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Found Families

At L's tonight, after dinner, I read yesterday's post to her to make sure I got it all right.  I got to the part about Vanna White before we were laughing so hard we were crying.  This is our friendship.

Also, this all happened after her daughter kicked me in the boob, which hurt like a motherfucker.  

Found families. You have to love them.

Monday, July 28, 2014

A glimpse into our friendship. Our weird, weird friendship.: Part II

To go along with last Friday's post.

L and I are driving home from the movies.  She looks at the info screen in my car and sees what song is playing.

L: Kiera Knightly sings?
Me: Oh, yeah, she sang in this movie, Begin Again, this is from the soundtrack.
L: Huh, I didn't know. [My husband] had a huge crush on her in those movies.
Me: What movies?
L: You know, with the ships?
Me: Uh, what?
L: Yeah, you know, with the ships. And the captains.
Me: Are you talking about the Pirates of the Caribbean movies?
L: Yeah! Those ones. See, you knew what I was talking about.
Me: You're ridiculous.
L: I'm like your personal games of Jeopardy. "Can I have an 'e'? No 'e's?  OK, how about some 'o's? Three 'o's!"
Me: What the fuck. That's Wheel of Fortune.
L: Oh...

Subject changes, but five minutes later...

L: Is Wheel of Fortune the one with Vanna White?
Me: Yes.
L: Will you be my Vanna White?
Me: No.  Fuck, I hope I can remember this conversation in five minutes when I get home.

We're stopped at a stoplight, and L waves her hands in front of my face.

Me: Are you trying to Jedi Mind Trick me?
L: No, it's like in that movie we used to show, with the Jewish guy, and the Holocaust?
Me: Life is Beautiful? You are literally the worst.  I love you.

I remembered the whole thing word-for-word.  Go me.

Friday, July 25, 2014

A glimpse into our friendship. Our weird, weird friendship.: Part I

I was out having ice cream with L the other night and this conversation happened.  I feel compelled to share it with you, even though there will be judgment (and I know one person who will definitely send me a judgy email for sure...):

Me: Oh, I had a dream last night that I had sex with two members of One Direction.
L, choking on her ice cream: Um, what?
Me: Yeah, you know, while they were doing a concert.
L: So they just, what, took sex breaks during the concert?
Me: I guess? They would just run off stage and meet up with me.
L: Well, I have to ask, was it both at the same time?
Me: NO! What am I, a whore in my dreams? Not that I'm slut-shaming anyone who has a threesome, I mean, that's totally their sexual choice, it just sounds like a lot of work.
L: Huh, well thanks for telling me in this crowded place.
Me: It was Liam and Harry, by the way, in case you care.
L: I don't even know what that means.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Please submit to your state education board.

K sent me this email before she was done with school and I totally forgot to post it, which is sad, because it's excellent advice...

*     *     *     *     *

Yeah. Do you know what should be in the new teacher exam? How do keep your # per freshman class focused when 1) it is after lunch 2) it is sunny and hot and 3) a boy with a ball injury returns holding a bag of ice on his crotch.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Teenagers in other states are ridiculous too.

Reader S sent me these two student gems.

"When do we start school next year?...What, that is three days after my birthday, I am not coming then."

"We're going to have a tornado in 2016, there's a change in the climax."

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Words and Stuff

I was cleaning out the notes in my phone today and came across this note, just one sentence:

"You're like a book person with words and stuff."

Which is how my brother-in-law described me one day when I was visiting him and my sister last fall.  I told him I needed to write that one down immediately.

It's basically my perfect description, second only to the time Melbourne on My Mind said, "You're like a drug dealer, but with books...", which I wholly take as a compliment.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Saturday Special: Three Things, Vol. 26

1. Rainbow Rowell's "Landline"

If you didn't think I was going to post about Rainbow Rowell's new book at some point, you don't know me very well.  I've raved about her other works and I wasn't at all disappointed by her latest effort.  It made me laugh and cry and feel all the feels in the best way possible.  I love how well Rowell can write across the generations.  Each of her books has focused on a girl in a different time in her life, and I appreciate how I can still connect with each of these characters, despite not being the same age as any of them.  Bonus: There's an update about a couple from one of her other books within Landline.  I might have freaked the fuck out when I found it and it was what tipped me over into loving the novel.  Read carefully...

2. Meghan Trainor's "All About That Bass"

The number of times I've listened to this song this summer is getting out of control.  A friend (who I would never expect to send me this kind of song at all) sent it to me a few weeks ago and I immediately sent it to my sister and we became obsessed.  A body positive fun dancey summer song?  We're in!  I'm not crazy about the "skinny bitches" line, because if we're not going to fat-shame, we probably shouldn't skinny-shame.  Let's just all love our bodies.

3. Summer Movies

OK, so I'm kind of cheating here with #3.  I've seen a shit-ton of movies this summer.  I love movies, you know this.  Summertime means I can see as many movies as I want. So here's what I've seen, and a few comments on each. I've basically ordered them by the one I liked least to the best.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes: It's exactly what you think...apes and guns. Eh.
Obvious Child: I wasn't crazy about this one like everyone else seems to be.  I enjoyed the unusual story, but I thought it was just OK.
Jersey Boys: I love musicals.  So does my dad. We saw this together and we both enjoyed it.
Belle: Beautifully made and has a great story.
The Fault in Our Stars: Cried.  Then cried some more. 
X-Men: Days of Future Past: James McAvoy. Michael Fassbender. Need I say more?
22 Jump Street: Way funnier than I expected it to me.  I loved how it made fun of itself, and of Hollywood.  I'd watch all the sequels.
Begin Again: Again, I love musicals, and this was, for all intents and purposes, a musical.  Totally delightful. 
How To Train Your Dragon 2: Maybe my second favorite movie of the summer.  I totally cried. (SHUT UP!)  Dragons are cats, and I love cats, therefore I love dragons.  Duh.
Chef: Maybe my favorite movie of the summer. I talked about it in my last Three Things.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Weird Al does it again!

Hey! I'm alive! I'm just really enjoying my summer and am really busy watching HGTV and Teen Wolf.  But I thought I'd be a bad English teacher if I didn't share good ol' Weird Al's newest video, "Word Crimes".  I know you've probably watched it already, but I'm sharing it anyway.  I'm a but miffed at his dismissal of the Oxford Comma, but I appreciate his slamming of b/c/r/u as words (I love my best friend, but I'm constantly yelling at her to stop doing that in texts...PROPER GRAMMAR WHEN TEXTING!)