Saturday, May 2, 2015

Saturday Special: Three Things, Vol 32

Shit y'all, it's been five months since I wrote a Three Things post!  It's not like I haven't been into anything lately, I swear.  So here are three, or maybe five, things I'm into right now...

1. The Fug Girls' new book, The Royal We

In honor of the birth of the new princess, we have to talk about The Royal We, because dear lord this book I love it so much.  I was crushed when I couldn't get an ARC through NetGalley and I had to WAIT LIKE A PEASANT. Like many other people, I love the royal family. Wills is my age, so I grew up watching him grow up, thinking he was a dreamboat (who the fuck ever thought Harry would be the hot one?! Because JFC HE TOTALLY IS!).  This story, about an American girl who meets the prince and spends the next five-osh years having an off-and-on relationship with him, is totally addictive and stressful (in the best way possible). Two of my friends read it around the same time I did, and we spent a lot of time texting about it. You won't regret this one, I swear.

1.5. E!'s "The Royals"

Continuing the royal theme...oh my god you guys have you watched "The Royals"?!  It is the most ridiculously wonderful thing on TV right now.  I just love it so much.  Much like The Royal We, it's about an American girl who comes to England, randomly meets the prince, and hijinx/romance ensues.  It's totally over-the-top, the fashion is out of control (really Eleanor, that's what you wear out?!), and each episode gets more ridiculous (oh hello Joan Collins!).  And I love it.

2. Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness

I've loved Andrew McMahon since his Something Corporate days (Ruthless is one of my top 10 all-time favorite songs, and I would go for a piano-playing-guy over a guitar-playing-guy any day). I adored his Jack's Mannequin albums, but his latest incarnation, Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness has proved to be pretty fantastic too.  Some of the songs are typical AM, then others are very ethereal sounding. The first single, "Cecilia and the Satellite", is so good. See the video below.

3. Starz's "Flesh and Bone"

If people know one thing about me, it's that I love ballet. I don't know why, I just always have. Center Stage, in all its terrible glory, is my favorite movie. So when I heard about this new series, "Flesh and Bone" a few months ago, of course I was immediately in. Ballet? Ballet school? Ballet drama? YES PLEASE.  And it's stars the guy who played Charlie in Center Stage and Ethan Stiefel is the choregographer?  Oh hells yeah.  (Except I hope we can all agree Cooper Nielson is the worst and Center Stage 2: Turn It Up was doubly the worst.)  Now I just have to wait until November 8th, which is too far away. See the trailer below.


Bonus #4: Becky Albertalli's Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda

I've been waiting what seems like forever for this book, and it finally came out at the beginning of April. I'm only 6 chapters in, but it might already be my favorite book of the year. Simon is a closeted gay kid who has been carrying on an email relationship with another student at his school (who he met on Tumblr), but neither knows who the other is, as they both use code names. So far it's super fucking hilarious, very honest, and just awesome. The voice is fantastic and Simon reminds me SO MUCH of one of my current students. I'll update this when I finish.

See all Three Things posts here.

Friday, May 1, 2015

Peacock Spider is disappointed in your cheating.

To preface, I can't remember how we found the video below, co-worker S and I watched it one day before school and then it become very appropriate for later in the day.

An email from one of co-worker S:

So yesterday I had a boy copying an assignment during class, and now I am watching a girl copy down answers from a picture on her phone. I may just show that clip to my students and go "This is me in regards to your work and work ethic" GAH students!

Thursday, April 30, 2015

I'm bringing [capes] back.

An email from K...

K: I'm going to bring capes back*.
Student: That's so fetch.
K and Student #2, at the same time: Stop trying to make fetch happen.
Student #2: Oh my god, NO. I can't believe you quoted 'Mean Girls' at the same time as me. I'm going to sew my lips shut now.
*I really feel like I've emailed you about bringing capes back into fashion before. Should I be concerned or proud about that?

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

That's some A+ research right there!

My kids did projects on social issues, and in discussing rap music and its culture, a group said, "Many rappers today, weird as it sounds, rap about political stuff."

So clearly they learned nothing about the history of rap music and its culture.

Side note: their title page was a picture of NWA.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Presidential Lessons

Boy: Wait, is Wocka Flocka Flame really running for president?
Girl #1: Dude, he's like 20.
Boy: And?
Girl #1: You can't run for president until you're 35.
Girl #2: What is a Wocka Flocka Flame?
Girl#1: You don't know who that is?!
Girl #2: Sorry, nope. Actually, sorry not sorry. He sounds stupid.

So apparently this is a thing that's kind of happening? Also, Wocka Flocka is a stupid name.  But, if you disagree, you can go work for him, provided you have certain skills.

Monday, April 27, 2015

Shakespearean Sass

A series of emails from K last week...


Reaction to Juliet stabbing herself: "She stupid, bruh."


After finishing Romeo and Juliet
Kid: K, how would you describe Juliet?
K: Dead.
Kid: How would you describe her before she died?
K: Alive.


After Juliet kills herself in the 1996 Romeo + Juliet a boy whispers under his breath, "Shots fired."

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

The correct response was: What sex life?!

Reader S sent me this email and I love it!

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In Nutrition and Wellness, my students are working on a nutrient webquest.

"Why is this asking about my sex life? That's none of their business. What does that have to do with my BMI?"

(FYI: [The question] states "Sex" and "Activity Level" so the kid thought it was asking his sex life.)

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Spoiler alert...nope.

The day the Chris Kyle verdict was handed down, I was in class.  I knew I had some kids who really loved the movie, so I shared the news with them in class.  Clearly not everyone wanted to know...

Boy: Wait, did you just spoil American Sniper?
Girl: It's real life.
Boy: Yeah, but I haven't seen the movie.
Me: That's your fault. It's national news. There doesn't need to be a "spoiler alert" for real life.
Boy: But aren't all movies based on real life events?
Me: Huh? Like what, Avatar?
Boy: Well actually...
Me: Stop. Just stop. I'm not engaging you on this.

Monday, April 20, 2015

I'm going to low key miss that kid.

Last week sort of got away from me and I forgot to post and by the time I remembered it was already Thursday so I just quit for the week. Good news is I'm back now!

Last week a kid sidled up to my desk and said, "Not even gonna lie, I low key miss reading Shakespeare." I laughed and replied that was truly shocking information. The end of the year makes me a bit weepy, so I appreciate comments like these. 

Also, ugh, it's 420. May your students be sober and coherent and not assholes. 

Friday, April 10, 2015

That's it, I'm officially out of touch with today's youth.

An email from K:

This is teaching with my 3rd period:

Kid: Atticus be trappin'!
K: No Atticus is not trappin'. What is your definition of trappin'?
Kid: You know, pullin' the girls, gettin' the money, flippin' bricks.
K: Okay, so Atticus is widowed, poor, and doesn't deal drugs. Please explain to me how he is trappin'.