Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Just stop it, please.

When in teacher college, professors never tell you how many times you'll have to say to senior boys: "Please stop touching each other. If you want to touch each other outside class and away from me, cool, I support that, but in class keep your hands to yourselves." 

They're all basically 5 years old.

Monday, September 26, 2016

We have very different problems, you and I.

Overheard from some girls talking in class, "Like, I wanted to follow her but the my following to follow ratio would be off and who need that?"

Later these girls found out I have a Twitter (it's on private and they're not allowed to follow me until they graduate) and one was pissed I had more followers than her. Uh, OK?

Sunday, September 25, 2016

I'm Still Here

Hi y'all! I exist! For the last several weeks I've been meaning to sit down and write some posts, but life keeps getting in the way.

I'm currently sitting in a Panera trying to grade, but their painfully slow wifi is making slow and glitchy. Tomorrow starts the last week of the first quarter of the 2016-2017 school year (I KNOW, RIGHT?!) and I have so many essays to grade by the time grades are due on Friday.

I went into this school year with an open mind and a good attitude. 2016 was a shitshow of a year, not really for me personally, but the class in general. They were definitely an interesting group of kids, and not in a good way. I kept my expectations for 2017 low and just hoped no one would try to burn my classroom down.

Here's the thing, guys, this year has been good. SO GOOD. I've been loath to say that out loud, lest it jinxes me for the rest of the year. I adore my students. Maybe not all of them, but most of them. They're kind and introspective. Some of them are piles of weird and sass, but in a way that makes me want to hug, not punch, them. I'm happier in my classroom than I've been in years, which is a weird, yet delightful feeling. It's a feeling I'm not taking for granted and I'm enjoying every minute of it.

All that being said, this year, for the first time in my adult life, I've considered being something other than a teacher. It won't involve me leaving my school and it would still be a school-related job, just not in the classroom. It's nothing that's happening now, or even five years from now. But I'm keeping my options open and hoping something the thing I want is going to happen and it will land me in a job I'd really love to do. Like Aaron Burr says, I'm willing to wait for it.

So that's what's been happening with me. I'm hoping that by the time I've finished writing this the internet will be a bit faster and will cooperate with me. I think I'm ready to start posting again, so keep an eye on whatever you use to read me. I'm probably not going to post every day, like I have for the past few years, but maybe a few days a week for right now.

It's going to be a good year.

Monday, July 11, 2016

The best laid plans...

I really did intend to post more this summer, but that clearly hasn't happened. I'm not going to post any more for the rest of the summer either. Honestly, I've been debating whether or not I want to keep this blog up. I'm feeling really uninspired lately and maybe it's time to give it up. I'll let y'all know what I decide to do about that.

Until then, I'm going to enjoy my last few weeks of summer. I'm on vacation at my sister's house for a couple of weeks. Currently it's 66 degrees, all the windows are open, the kids are in bed, there's wine and beer aplenty, and the adults are watching Zootopia (which I've already seen, but my sister and her husband have not). It's a good night.

Enjoy your July and we'll reconvene here soon.

Friday, June 17, 2016

So much irony.

Email from a fellow teacher of seniors during the week of finals:

Subject: Irony

One of my 3rd hour students just asked me what "apathy" means.

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Co-workers are ridiculous...

An email from one of my co-workers during final exams:

"I heard crazy-loud singing in the quiet hallway. I rolled my eyes and got up to see what kid was being disruptive.

Just take a guess who it might have been.

Here's a hint: it's not a kid."

Who was it? This guy right here. Also the same guy who sent a group text like two weeks ago to some of my workers saying "Uh, I kind of miss you all? Can we get drinks?" And we did.

All ridiculousness aside, we really do love each other.

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

I did good this year...

I keep sitting down to write posts and then failing because I start thinking about how fucked this world is and how I'm sending my seniors over into a world where shitty things happen. The Orlando shooting was a travesty and I've been fuming about the Stanford rapist and I can't let it go.

But then I remember this moment, a culmination of dozens of comments and side lessons I tried to teach this year...

My students were at a seminar admin organized for them and one of the speakers told them to spread love by hugging each other all time. Even if someone doesn't want to hug you, you should do it anyway.

A kid whipped around to find me:

Kid: NO! That's not right! Consent! You told us you should never touch someone without their consent!
Me: Correct. Only hug or otherwise touch people with their consent.

If nothing else, I have 170ish kids (assuming everyone listened to me) who are well-versed on the concept of consent and what that means in regards to body autonomy.

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Summer time!

So, school is done for the year.

Yet I'm definitely not done for the year. As I have for the last few summers, I'm running a summer program for middle schoolers, which is equal parts interesting and awful. Going from teaching high school seniors to talking to incoming 6th graders is a challenging change. It's only until the end of this month, then I get all of July off (PRAISE BE!).

This school year was...interesting. If this wasn't an anonymous blog I could talk to you about specific stuff, but damn me and my need for privacy. I'll just leave it at that...interesting. We all made it through. For the first time in YEARS, I had a student who failed my class and couldn't graduate. I don't feel bad about that at all. I'm not saying my class is a breeze, but you have to actively try to fail.

I have a bunch of stuff still to post from this school year, so I'll be posting over the next month or so, and then I'll probably take July off.  I hope everyone's end of the year has been quiet and not full of students begging for last minute extra credit.

Monday, May 23, 2016

Heads up, I'm no one's mom.

Seniors finished up last week and on the last day, five minutes before the bell rings, this happened:
Kid: M, you're not my mom anymore!
Me: Uh, I've NEVER been your mom...
Kid: But we've been together all year, it's sort of like you're my mom.
Me: No, it's not even a little bit like that.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Damn, I'm young!

"You are NOT 34 years old!" is an thing that was just yelled at me in class today. Somehow my one of my classes was under the impression that after 9 months together a) I've only been teaching a few years, and b) I'm 26. 

Thanks, I think?