Thursday, September 18, 2014

Easily Amused

The things that amuse my 17-18 year old students never fails to amuse me.

I hand out post-its for an assignment.


Boy: We get sticky notes?!
Me: Yes, is that exciting?
Boy: YES!
Me: It never fails to amuse me the things that make you 18 year olds happy.  Like, I could say we're watching "Lilo and Stitch" and you'd...
Girl, peeks around another student and cuts me off: Are we watching "Lilo and Stitch"?!
Me: Aaaaaand that's exactly what I'm talking about.
Girl: Oh, so we're not watching it?
Me: No, but thanks for the enthusiasm.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Not even Snoop Dogg would be allowed to say that in my classroom.

Sometimes I get ragey about random things and put my foot down.  

Kid #1: Hey pimp!
Kid #2: What up?
Me: Can we stop calling each other people who sell women for money? This offends me.
Kid #2: He just means...
Me, cutting him off: Nope, I don't care what he means.  Let's not, OK?  Find another damn word.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

My grandparents would be outraged.

Girl: What was World War II even about?
Me: Uh, remember that whole Nazi thing?
Girl: That's it?
Boy: SERIOUSLY?!

Monday, September 15, 2014

Or about about none at all in my classroom...

I had a meeting of the students in my extra-curricular last week.  A kid was hitting a desk.  I shot him a look.  

Another kid looked over at him and said, "Let's try to keep the pounding to a minimum..."

Of course they all lost their shit.  So did I.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Aliveness

Yes, I'm alive. The last week and a half got away from me. I've been grading every afternoon and trying to keep my head above water. I've been alternately stressed and sad.  

Last weekend I was especially sad. L and her family stopped by to borrow a movie and her husband demanded I go out to dinner with them.  I wasn't at all in the mood for people or fun, but I went.  

While at dinner L informed me K, her daughter, has a boyfriend.  K is all of 6 years old and has a better love life than me, so that definitely didn't help in the being sad part.  What did help was what L told me next, "You know why they're boyfriend/girlfriend? Because they like to find bugs on the playground together."  That was super cute and gross.

When our food came, K turned to me excited and said, "This is a restaurant for rich people.  Only rich people eat hot food."  I laughed at her and reminded her that her mom made a hot meal every night.  She rolled her eyes at me...which is apparently something a 6 year old can do.  Who knew?

So I'm back.  I'm hoping school will be less stressful this week, but if it's not less stressful, at least hopefully it will be funny.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

How I feel on Monday mornings...and every other weekday morning too.

Someone posted this somewhere on the internet the other day with the caption, "ITS TIME FOR SCHOOL GET THE FUCK UP" and it made me both laugh a whole lot.  (To make myself sound like less of an asshole, I hope everyone in the house is safe.)


Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Douchepants

K starts school, tomorrow, over a month after I did.  I texted her last night to find out about her schedule and whatnot, and she gave me some good advice:





Saturday, August 30, 2014

Saturday Special: Three Things, Vol. 28

Three day weekend!!  HOORAY!!  Today is my lazy day.  Tomorrow and Monday will be days full of grading.  BOO!!  It's OK, I'm just happy to sleep in.  Let's share some things, shall we?

1. Pop Sonnets

At least three people in my life have shared this link with me in the past two weeks.  This tumblr takes pop songs and re-writes them in sonnet form.  The end results is freaking awesome.  The one for Backstreet Boys' "I Want it That Way" makes me heart sing.  I read the "Livin' on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi to a co-worker and made him guess what it was.  Three cheers to whoever made this.

2. Chicken Meatball and Orzo Soup

I love soup.  This is something everyone knows about me.  I don't care how hot it is outside, I'll pretty much always eat soup.  This soup in particular has become one of my favorites.  I make a few changes: I use ground pork instead of chicken, and instead of dill I add lemon zest.  In the end it reminds me of this really delicious lemon chicken soup a local place makes.  Yum!!

3. Friday Night Lights

We had our first football game last night.  I wasn't there.  I was at happy hour with my co-workers and then in bed by 9:30 because I was super tired.  But I love Friday night football games.  More than our football games, I love the Dillon Panthers and the East Dillon Lions.  I'm not a sports person.  Like, at all.  I don't get excited for the Superbowl and I only slightly care about the Stanley Cup because my brother-in-law breathes hockey.  My dad and I saw the FNL movie in the theater when it came out, and I was in love.  I had read the book, mostly because my dad played high school football and lived in West Texas, so I was curious to see what it was all about.  When they announced a series based on the book/movie, I was super skeptical, but I quickly fell in love.  I love everything about that show, even when it gets stupid, which is does from time to time.  When they moved it to DirectTV, I had FNL nights with my work spouse and his wife to watch the episodes, which always included beer and lots of kleenex.  I revisit it constantly, as I own the DVDs and watch it on Netflix.  Do yourself a favor, listen to Tami Taylor's advice, channel your inner Coach Taylor, give in to Riggins' sexy, and enjoy.  A friend sent me this super-cut of Coach's greatest speeches and I love it.



See all Three Things posts here.

Friday, August 29, 2014

Sure, let's blame it on the meds.

A conversation with two of my co-workers:

Co-worker #1: OMG, have you been to Asia?
Me: ...The country?
Co-worker #1: No, the restaurant.
Me: No.
Co-worker #2: HOLD ON. Did you just say... do you mean THE CONTINENT?!
Me: Shhhhh, I'm on a lot of cold medication right now!

(It's true, I AM on a lot of cold medication. But that was also a really stupid thing to say.)

Thursday, August 28, 2014

We're not friends.

Kid: Can I write this in bullet points?
Me: What do the instructions tell you do to?
Kid: Write a paragraph.
Me: So you probably should...
Kid...write a paragraph.
Me: Yeah.
Kid: But I thought since we were so close that I could just do bullet points.
Me: a) We're not close, we've known each other for four weeks. I barely know you. b) Write a damn paragraph.