Monday, July 13, 2015

End of Year/Summer Wrap-Up

Summer is almost over. I know it's weird to say that because it's only barely mid-July, but we go back at the end of July and school starts at the beginning of August. I'm jealous of schools that start after Labor Day, but then I remember we're done in late May while they're still in school through June, and I feel pretty OK about my situation.  The summer program I run ended a couple of weeks ago, so I've been able to enjoy some time off. I leave tomorrow for two weeks of vacation. I'm not going anywhere particularly exciting, but I'll be with family, which is really all I want.

Now for an end of the year wrap-up...

This year was...OK.  It was my first time teaching one class all day, which I thought was going to be terrible and boring, but ended up being kind of great.  We got nearly an entirely new curriculum on the level, so it was a year of experimenting and learning.  My students knew we were doing something new and they were pretty much champs about it. Some things were a total disaster, but they rolled with the punches and we made it through. I have the same schedule this coming year, so I can really get the curriculum down and perfect it (she types hopefully...). I had some incredibly difficult to deal with students this year, but in the end they were just learning experiences in patience and not swearing at teenagers.

One major change for this coming year is a change in co-workers. My work spouse isn't coming back. That one was tough to deal with. He was really sweet in telling me and let me cry it out in my classroom while we were on prep. I understand he's over education and needs to do something different and I'm so happy that he'll be happy. In addition to WS leaving, several other co-workers peaced out as well. One is someone I've known since college, one is like my baby sister and is the most ridiculous person I know, and one was the person I interned with at That One School many a year ago before I student taught and got hired. All are people I'm going to miss and our department will be so different without them.

So now the only thing left for me to do is enjoy what's left of my summer. Although I've read more books in the last few weeks than the average American reads in a year, I still need to read more...there's never a lack of something to read in my life, obviously. I just started watching "Outlander" because like four people have raved about it (but not the books, people say the books are boring and terrible?). My Netflix overfloweth with things I want to watch. Also there is breakfast to be eaten, a gym to be worked out in, and babies I need to cuddle. I might post here and there, but expect the next three weeks to be sparse. I'll get back to regular posting at the beginning of August.

As always, thanks dear readers for going on this weird educational journey with me and for sticking around.

Friday, July 3, 2015

Send Help: Part 2

An email from K...
Finals week is wearing me out and if one more person says "K!" I think I'm gonna lose my mind.
This morning in the computer lab I hear whispering and "check the expectations" "it doesn't say you can't!" and I know that whatever is about to happen next is not going to be good. Sure enough a few minutes later I'm explaining the assignment and look back to see a girl straightening her hair in the back of the room. I tell her to put it away.
When I walk by a few minutes later she and her friend are eating out of a giant Tupperware of pancakes.

This is the second time this week someone has randomly brought pancakes to class.

Seriously I'm losing my mind. Send help.

Thursday, July 2, 2015


A email from K...

Kid #1: You know how babies' heads are soft? Can you, like, mold their brain too? Like make their brain into a mohawk?

Kid #2: What if you could switch brains with people?
Kid #3: No way, you can do that?

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Send Help: Part 1

An email from K...

After the dismissal bell at the end of 3rd period a boy comes up to me.

Kid: There's a wasp in the back of the classroom. Have a good morning!
K: Wait. What? Is it alive?
Kid: Dunno. Bye!

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Listening is hard for high schoolers!

An email from K...

K:Don't high five the eagle.
Three minutes later:
K: I thought I said don't high five the eagle!

Monday, June 29, 2015

More farting stories. Yes, really.

My librarian friend sent me this a long time ago...

So I just saw your fart post, and cackled more than a little. But I also now have to tell you a story that my old boss emailed me yesterday. 

Apparently they had a lock down drill yesterday. In the library, that means locking the doors, covering all the windows with paper, and sitting on the floor in the office with all the kids. Most of them are fine because they get to hide under the desks and it's like the Most! Fun! Ever! But one or two usually get freaked out. 

So yesterday, she had the first graders in the library when the alarm went off. This one kid toooooooooootally freaked out and started asking the librarian what the worst possible thing that could happen was. 

Her response? "Someone could do a smelly fart and we'd be trapped in here with it."

Saturday, June 27, 2015

Saturday Special: Three Things, Vol. 35

1. Lifetime's "UnReal"

I've never in my life watched "The Bachelor" or "The Bachelorette" and I'm totally OK with that. Those shows make me sad for people. So I really have no excuse as to why I'm completely in love with "UnReal", a new summer show on Lifetime (yeah, I know, LIFETIME). It goes behind the scenes of a fictional dating show and exposes all their dirty little secrets.  The thing that hooked me was the creator/producer worked on "The Bachelor", so I'm curious as to how much was the super fuckedupness is real. You can catch the first episodes on, so please do it and report back!

2. A Year of Romantic Comedies Project

I have a complicated relationship with romcoms. I hate them? I sort of love them? No, I hate them. I get that love exists in the world, but romcoms take the worst of that love and pass it off as beautiful romanticism when it's really just cheap drivel. There are a few exceptions: When Harry Met Sally, You've Got Mail, Bridget Jones's Diary.  And, oh man, Leap Year, I love that stupid fucking movie so much (I blame that on Matthew Goode, though, he's my knight in shining armor.) So when a blogger I like ( said she was doing this project, I tuned in. It's been fun to see how other people judge romcoms (Is is GOOD? No. Did I LIKE IT? Yes.) and discover new movies as well.

This book. THIS BOOK. This book ruined my life, but in the best way possible. Aaron Soto has a hard life. His dad recently killed himself and then Aaron attempted to do the same. The only thing holding him up his is girlfriend Genevieve, but when he meets Thomas, everything changes. If you enjoyed "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", you like YA, and you support diverse books, you're going to love this book. I don't know why I had such an emotional reaction to this book, but I cried a lot. I mean it, A LOT. Like maybe the most I've ever cried at a book. I tweeted Adam Silvera when I finished to tell him how much I loved the book and he responded very kindly (which is something I so love about social media, I can tweet authors I love and have interesting conversations...hooray technology!).  I really like the video below, in which Silvera discusses diverse books and why they are so necessary today.

See all Three Things posts here.

Friday, June 26, 2015


An email from K...

Boy, to pregnant teacher: It must suck to be a girl.
Pregnant teacher: It does.
Boy #2: What? Did you just say 'suck dick girl'?

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Subject: Basically I've lost control.

An email from K...

Today I was trying to teach a review lesson on essay structure. Here's a list of questions that students asked during the lecture and the follow-up questions that immediately followed as I tried to get the class back on track:

Discussing body paragraphs...
“Have you ever seen the alien snake?”
“You mean the snake with legs?”
“That’s a centipede, stupid”

2 minutes later...

“When did we start counting centuries?”
“Why does the Mayan calendar just end?”

Another 2 minutes...
“Are there galaxies outside of ours?”
“And what’s outside of THOSE galaxies?”

And while they were supposed to be completing the review activity...
“Take off my shorts! Give me my shorts back.”
“I remember when I got sent to the office for taking my pants off. I was just trying to change really quick.”