Gwen and I have that in common.

I had this conversation with a student yesterday:

Very White Kid (after asking a question): OK, I get it. Cool, I'm gonna go work, but I'll holla back at you later.
Me: Um, no, I ain't no hollaback girl.
VWK (looks at me incredulously for 5 seconds and then burst out laughing): I can't believe you know that song!
Me: I can't believe you think I'm 40!
VWK: I can't believe you said that!
Me: I can't believe you set me up for that!
VWK (still laughing and yelling at his best friend across the room): Dude, you have to hear what M just said, it was awesome!

Kids are silly.

The need for evidentiary support is totally overrated

I'm raising future lawyers in my classes here , or future criminals, I'm not sure which.

English teachers, you will appreciate this...

My juniors did a timed writing. A girl walked up to me and we had this conversation:

Me: How can I help you?
Girl: We have to use quotes, right?
Me: You sure do. Two of them with proper citations.
Girl: Do the quotes have to, like, support our argument or can they be about anything?
Me: You mean just throwing any old quote in there just to satisfy the requirement?
Girl: Yeah.
Me [head explodes]: That is sort of the purpose of having quotes, to back up your argument.
Girl: Ugh, fine. This is soooo hard!

Life is hard. Duly noted.

I didn't before, but I'm totally going to now!

Sometimes kids say things that are totally inappropriate and instead of admonishing them, I laugh. Example:

Kid (to me): What do you do on the weekend?
Me: Hang out with my friends? Do stuff?
Kid: Totally get wasted? Play beer pong?
Kid #2: Whoa, whoa, she's classy. I'm sure she plays wine pong or something.
Me: LAUGH.

I'm pretty sure he also just described spring break. Or his ideal Saturday night.

Last Tuesday was Mardi Gras, a holiday apparently my students know nothing (or really everything) about.

Me: Happy Mardi Gras everyone!
Girl: Mardi Gras? Isn't that, like, in May or something? May 5th?
Me: That's Cinco de Mayo. The 5th of May.
Guy: Yeah, Mardi Gras is before Ash Wednesday. It leads into Lent and then Easter.
Me: Exactly!
Guy: And everyone gets super drunk and you get to throw beads at girls and they take their shirts off!
Guy #2: AWESOME!!!!
Me: I was going to bypass that part, but thanks.