Yesterday the students were reading their vocab sentences aloud to review for their vocab test today, which they do to earn candy in class. A kid read his sentence, but a) it made no sense and b) it very obviously referenced smoking weed. I denied him candy and told him his sentence was wrong. This ensued...
Kid: What?! How is it wrong?!
Me: It's wrong for like 16 reasons.
Kid: Fine, give me at least 6 reasons why I'm wrong.
Me, smiling: You sure you want me to do that?
Kid: Yeah, do it.
#1: You use the word incorrectly.
#2: Your sentence contains a bunch of words which, when put together, make no sense.
#3: You clearly don't understand what the word means.
#4: You talk about drugs, which is school inappropriate.
#5: Your hair is ridiculous.
#6: You need to stop hitting on me because it's creepy and awkward and will not get you a passing grade in this class.
#7: And, for a bonus, you should have written the major term paper last quarter because maybe you wouldn't have to be playing catch up now and trying to hard to get an A on every assignment so you can pass this class.
At the end I was laughing really hard because a)I think I'm hilarious and b) he was just sitting there with this absolutely stricken look on his face, like he never thought I could come up with all those reasons. Today in class, a girl came in and said that she loved what I said in class yesterday and she wrote it down at the time and posted it on Facebook. She reread me the list out her notebook and I'm glad I wrote it down correctly here. For the second time this week, well played, me.