"I am a bitch, but so is life."

We have just a handful of days left until finals. Something weird happens at the end of each semester...kids suddenly start caring about their grades again. Strange, right? Despite the fact that they have access to their grades 24/7 online, all of a sudden they realize they're not getting the grade they want and there is a mad rush of emails begging for help. The email I get most often is this:

"I don't know how to access my grade, so I didn't know was failing. Is there anything I can do to make my grade better?"

My response to this is always the same, a conversation in person the next day:

"Sorry you're having technical difficulties. Were you able to get on Facebook last night? Twitter? iTunes? Yes? Then I'm sure you can figure out how to put in your password for online grades. What can you do to help your grade? Well, first you need to go see your science teacher and learn how to build a time machine. Then get into that time machine, go back 5 months, and this time do all your work. That's how you fix your grade."

Bitchy? Yes. Sarcastic? Yes. But do I feel bad that you have a 22% because you spent the last year in my class not doing any work and now you suddenly "care"? Hell no.

In the words of my dear friend K, "I am a bitch, but so is life."