It's a harsh world.

The other day on Twitter (I can't believe I just started a sentence that way, I sort of hate myself right now), some friends were having a conversation about the search terms people use that end them up at their blog. The post popular search term landing people at my blog this week?

"it sucks being a teenager"

Well, at least it's true.

(Other weird search terms: "yolo exceptions", "am i pretty enough to act", "do college age kids still give hickies in 2012", "lemonade out of lemons". WTF?)

OK folks, I'm taking a week off. I go back to work on Thursday and I'm going to take my last bit of vacation to relax, recharge, and attempt to be ready for the madness that will take over my life once again,. And obviously to finish watching Doctor Who.

As always, thanks for reading and being on this ridiculous journey with me. I appreciate you more than you know.

Love and Marriage

I find it really annoying when my former students get engaged. Mostly because they're way too young to be getting married and I think it will end in disaster. (I'm obviously very optimistic when it comes to love.) I've seen an equal number of students get divorced a year later as I have still be in happy marriages.

On the other hand, one of my former students posted on Facebook the other day that he had proposed to his boyfriend and they were engaged, and it made me really happy. Maybe because he's a bit older (25), and because he seems really happy. I stopped by his work to say congratulations and I really meant it.

(To be fair, one of my former students got married last weekend and her wedding looked beautiful and simple and totally her. I wish her lots of happiness as well. I don't only wish happiness for my gay former students. It just so happens that my gay former students are way more awesome than the straight ones.)

Becoming Better People

For all the bad things people have to say about social media, I'll give it this: it's a great way to get to know people again. People you haven't spoken to in years, and maybe thought you didn't want to.

The other day I had breakfast with someone I've known since we were kids. We went through elementary, middle, and high school together, and even attended the same university, although I saw her around maybe once there. We were friends on and off while growing up. In high school we ran with different crowds, she was involved in theater and I was busy with student council. We had classes together and spoke on occasion. We've been friends on Facebook for a while now and recently she reached out and asked if I wanted to get together.

I was nervous, but we had a lovely breakfast. She brought her one year old with her, who is the cutest kid ever. We recounted our lives over the past decade, shared what we knew about our former classmates, and reflected on how being grown ups had turned us into new people.

When we sat down to breakfast one of the first things I told her was, "If someone had told 15 year old me that 31 year old me would be having breakfast with you, I never would have believed them." She laughed and agreed. Neither of us could remember why we stopped being friends, but we both acknowledged our mutual ridiculousness throughout the years.

I guess all of this is just to say that people change, and that's good. One of my favorite posts I've written talked about who I was in high school. In that post I wrote something that has become my mantra, "You're under no obligation to be the person you were in high school for the rest of your life." I think this breakfast proved my point. You can be a different person. You can reconnect, if that's what you want. You can be better, funnier, more ridiculous in every good way possible. What you did or said all those years ago probably doesn't matter, and you think it does, you're probably wrong. Being a high school teacher I'm always questioning my younger self and wondering what I could have changed and how that would make my life different now. Honestly, I wouldn't change anything. All of those really stupid choices made me the person I am today.

I am a better person than I was 16 years ago, and that's what counts.

I'm glad it's not just my students' essays that are bad.

I don't think I've ever posted these links, but if I have, too bad because you should read them again. Several years ago one of my co-workers discovered funnyexam.com, which collects amusing essays, test answers, and other generally ridiculous things teenagers submit in class. How much of it is real, I don't know, but these two items are forever my favorites from the site. I often tell people that my mom is "90 stories tall, and her adventures are legendary". If you knew my mom, you'd understand how that is actually true. Anyway, these are funny. Give them a read.

Biography: Walt Whitman

Capitalism

Jane Austen and the Fight for Love in American History

From an old email I just found about a really terrible essay on Jane Austen a student wrote 3 years ago:

On Jane Austen (all from the same essay):

Opening line: "As history as progressed womens roles in the family and society has changed large amounts molding the right they now have today. Jane Austen was one of the first women righters and unknowingly one of the biggest influencial models of womens history."

Concluding line: "She believed in women having bigger roles and was one of the first big women writers in american history. She will always be remember as a women in the fight for love over money and for daring to be more and strive higher then the world thinks is the limit. She is a big activist and proves it that you can shoot higher then what people think you can do. Dream big."

Puppies Over Babies Any Day

If you've never read Jenny Lawson's blog, The Bloggess, your life is really sad. You should get on that STAT. In fact, start here and you'll fall in love as I, and my friends, have. Am I one of the 48,978 people are who are fans of "Beyonce, the giant metal chicken" on facebook? Hell yes I am.

A few weeks ago Lawson wrote this article, "Lesson 37: An Open Letter to Teenagers Wanting Babies", which I thought was hilarious and spot on. Go read it yourself!

Since you're already on the internet, you should pop on over to Amazon.com and buy a copy of her book, because it's one the funniest things I've read in a very long time.

Saturday Special: Three Things, Vol. 2

A few weeks ago I made some Saturday recommendations. I'm back with another set.

1. Jason Mraz, "I Won't Give Up"

Jazon Mraz is kind of hit or miss with me, but I love this song. I might sing it very loudly, and very badly, in my car on a regular basis. Also, Jason Mraz wants to make sure you conserve toilet paper. One of my friends and I reference this all the time and still, three years later, think it is hilarious.

2. Ann Patchett, State of Wonder

If you haven't read anything by Ann Patchett, you need to take yourself to a bookstore, or the nearest library, and read Bel Canto immediately. Now. I'll wait. OK, I won't actually wait, that's crazy. But you should still read her books. I just started State of Wonder and I'm already hooked. Patchett's writing is incredibly beautiful and addictive.

3. A Quick Succession of Busy Nothings (http://www.melbourneonmymind.com)

I found Kirsti through Twitter when a friend mentioned to me that she was doing a live-tweet of Doctor Who episodes. Of course I needed to read that. So I followed her, found her blog, and never looked back. She's funny and insightful and very supportive of my Doctor Who love. Go check out her blog!

And this is why I'm glad summer school is over.

Last summer school gem...

Me: So you'll be choosing a character from the book and you're going to write five poems from their perspective.
Kid #1: FIVE POEMS?!
Me: Yes. Whine and I'll make it 20.
Kid #2: Can we choose more than one character?
Me: No. One character. All poems from their perspective.
Kid #3: Can the character be from any book we've read this summer?
Me: What?! No! From the book we're reading right now. You know, that green one on your desk.

Everyone has done it!

Left over from summer school...

Girl is making laser "pew, pew, pew" sounds. I give her a funny look.

Girl: Don't you even act like you've never made pew pew sounds.
Me: I would never deny it!

I just love to laugh.

Toward the end of the year, one of my classes informed me that they'd never heard me laugh. Someone had just said something and I let out a big belly laugh. I called bullshit on them. I laugh all the time. They claim I smile and giggle a lot, but I never let go an LAUGH.

I thought about it for a minute, and it's true. When I find something amusing I smile, or scrunch up my nose, or giggle. I save big laughs for thing that are truly funny. But when I hear those things, I'm not afraid to let go and laugh my ass off. I've been shushed in the English office many times for this.

Humor is the most important quality for anyone who plans on being in my life. I love to love, but I don't just laugh for anyone. I'm not a laughing slut, I guess. I'm not sure what any of this says about me, but I'm not going to read into it.



Source

I hope you have one too.

Everyone needs a friend in life who will, while out at drinks on a random weekday evening, look at you and say, "Your cleavage is looking especially lovely tonight."

I'm very happy to say I have one of those friends.

I started a new label today for the random stuff I talk about. If you're ever bored, go to "just me talking about stuff" and enjoy my ridiculousness.

Making Friends as an Adult is Hard

Something really cool happened a few weeks ago. At least I thought it was cool. And now you have to read about it. SO THERE.

A few years ago I reconnected with an old high school friend via Facebook. I found out she has two great blogs and I've been glued to them ever since. When I joined Twitter (which I did at the demand of B, because apparently he runs my life sometimes (at least he used to, sad face), and vice versa), she was one of the first people I followed. Through her Twitter, I met another girl, with whom, I later discovered, I went to high school with. I don't remember this girl, although her face looked vaguely familiar. It turned out we live pretty close to each other now, so I friended her on FB (which, btw, I never friend people I don't know, and you shouldn't either, it makes me so mad when my students friend people they don't know, um, hello, that's how you end up in the back of a windowless van, kiddos). She also has a blog, which I commented on at one point. I wanted to let her know that "M" is me, so I sent her a FB message telling her so (I reveal myself from time to time to people who are completely out of the world of education and aren't likely to use the information to ruin my life). I was so not prepared for her response. Apparently she's been reading my blog for a while and even mentioned that she misses Caliban and Feste (as do I, ALL THE TIME). It totally blew her mind that it was me writing this, like I'm some sort of an internet celebrity. (Which I totes am, obvi.)

(This post has more parentheses than most and I don't know what that's all about. I'd apologize, but I don't think one ever has to apologize for using parentheses. It's like how love means never having to say you're sorry. Something like that. I need to stop this parentheses now because it's getting ridiculous.)

We had coffee shortly thereafter and it was super fun. One of the first things she said to me was, "So am I supposed to call you M, or...?" I laughed and said she could call me by my real name and then I explained where the pseudonym came from, which, sorry dear readers, this is closest you're ever going to get to an explanation on that one. We had a nice afternoon and I think I have a new friend, which is cool because making friends as adult is hard, especially when you're super awkward and think that talking to people is the worst ever.

I guess all this is to reinforce a lesson I learned from a Starbucks cup a long time ago...

Guest Posting Again: The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Once again I'm guesting over at Fantasy Casting. Today I'm discussing my excitement about the movie adaptation of The Perks of Being a Wallflower, which is a book I've loved since I was an awkward high schooler (now I'm just an awkward 30-something, times don't change).

Come join me in a discussion about my strange love of Logan Lerman, the real original Manic Pixie Dream Girl, and why you should NEVER watch "We Need to Talk about Kevin".

Looking Forward To...The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Enjoy!

"What, do you want a Harvey Wallbanger?"

My Doctor Who journey is continuing and I've gotten about halfway through series four, which sadly is David Tennant's last series. I watched "The Unicorn and The Wasp" last night, and I loved the Agatha Christie plot line. I read all of her books when I was in 6th grade and I would love to go back and reread them at some point. This is my favorite scene so far in this series, and maybe in show so far. I just love Catherine Tate to pieces. I hated Martha so damn much, seriously I feel bad because I spent two weeks whining to my friend Andrew every day about how much I hated her. Sorry Andrew. But here's a taste of why I'm going to miss Tennant and Tate when I have to move on to series five.



Source

Things I Need Reminding About Sometimes, Courtesy of John Green

Maybe I've mentioned my love of John Green a few times. Or more. The following is an excerpt from his 2008 speech at the Alan Conference. It's pretty great. So is he. I just want to have lunch with him and talk about nerdy things. The following makes me happy because it reminds me that sometimes the kids we think are total douchebags are actually paying attention and maybe aren't so douchey after all. Fingers crossed.

"My eleventh grade English teacher was a guy named Paul MacAdam. I got a D in the class, and I only got the D because I wrote a paper about Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye over the summer. I was a crap student: I didn’t read; I didn’t participate; I didn’t turn in papers, or when I did, it was embarrassingly obvious I hadn’t read the books. I also skipped class a lot. It was in the morning, and I didn’t think very highly of morning classes.

I actually said that to him once. He took me aside after the bell rang one day and said you’ve been missing a lot of class, and I was like, “Yeah, I don’t think too highly of morning classes.” I was a real peach.

But when I did go to class, I was usually the last person to file into the room. One thing I remember about that class: Mr. MacAdam always held the door open for us until the bell rang. We’d walk in, and he’d greet each of us. He always held the door open until the bell started ringing, and I’d come in last, three seconds before the bell rang, staring at my untied sneakers, stinking of cigarette smoke, and he’d say, “Mr. Green, always a pleasure,” and then he and the class would talk about the book. Say it was Slaughterhouse Five. I hadn’t read it, of course, but they would talk about it, and MacAdam would get to talking about war and the nonlinear nature of time and how Vonnegut had stripped down the language to tell the nakedest of truths.

But the discussion was always so interesting—these big, hot, fun ideas seemed to matter so much. So I read the books. I never read them when I was supposed to read them; I’d read them a week later, after I’d already gotten an F on my reaction paper. But I’d read them. In essence, I was reading great books for fun. MacAdam didn’t know it, of course. He probably still doesn’t know it. But it didn’t matter whether I was worthy of his faith; he kept it. He still held the door open every day for me. He still treated me like I was the smartest kid in the class, still took me seriously on those rare occasions when I’d raise my hand, still listened thoughtfully to me when I’d give him my reading of a passage I could comment upon only because he’d just read it out loud. He believed I was real, that I mattered. I wasn’t yet able to understand that he mattered, but he was okay with that. He just kept holding the door open for me."

http://effyeahnerdfighters.com/post/25587553066/my-eleventh-grade-english-teacher-was-a-guy-named

Some Thoughts on "Brave"

I saw Brave today. If I had a daughter, I'd make her watch that movie every day. I've been excited for this movie for a long time, maybe just because I have ridiculous curly hair and I finally have a Disney princess to share that with. Reasons I loved it:

1. The aforementioned hair thing. I spent most of my time watched the animated of Merida's hair. It was awesome.

2. I love pretty much all things Scottish, especially Scottish accents. Fun fact: whenever I watch a movie or tv show in another accent, I talk to myself in my head in that accent for the rest of the day. I've been speaking to myself in a Scottish accent all day. Yeah, I'm weird. Shut up. Have you seen this interview from 2007 where Craig Ferguson talks with James McAvoy? It's maybe the cutest thing in the world. I've watched it approximately 207 times since it aired five years ago. That's commitment. Work Spouse refers to James McAvoy as "Your Boyfriend James McAvoy". (This is also the case with "Your Boyfriend Timothy Olyphant" and "Your Boyfriend Ryan Reynolds". I have varied taste in men.)

3. Speaking of Craig Ferguson...I love that every movie with a need for a Scottish dude always has Craig Ferguson. I adore him. I saw his stand-up show like five years ago and he was hilarious.

4. I love love love Kelly Macdonald, despite her terrible Irish accent on Boardwalk Empire.

5. I love that there's a Disney princess whose end goal isn't marriage. Now, does that means she's gay? Who the hell cares? I don't understand how that's the logical interpretation of a girl who would rather live her life than focus on getting a husband. And if she is gay, what of it? Some people are gay, and that's OK. I think we've had this talk recently. Shut up, media.

Go see it. It's cute and heart warming and exactly what my summer needed. Tomorrow I'm going to see Savages, which will be a completely different movie experience, I'm sure. (One full of sexy sexy Taylor Kitsch.)

A bit of a break, and fashion.

So summer school is over. This is a very good thing. I now have a month off, which I'm going to enjoy by sleeping, reading, going to movies (Brave! The Amazing Spider-Man! Savages! The Dark Knight Rises!), and spending time with people I love. I have some posts started that I never finished, so I'll probably randomly post them over the next few weeks. Don't fret, I'll be back with a vengeance before school starts. I'll probably need to talk through some feelings with you all and need some encouragement to actually go back to work. Until then, here's some last minute fashion dos and don'ts.

I'm not fashionable and I've never been so. I've always been a t-shirt and jeans kind of girl, and my regular uniform for work is a twirly skirt of some sort (pockets are a bonus!) and a plain shirt. I wear flip flops every chance I get. All that being said, I can recognize terrible fashion when I see it. I've been overwhelmed by the awful fashion in summer school.

-A girl in six inch heels.
-Tube tops over bras (regular or sports bras). Uh what?
-A see through shirt over just a regular bra or a bandeau bra. This was something we started seeing at the end of the year and it's awful.
-A girl in knee high boots. Note: It's a billion degrees outside.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised when this is the kind of shit my former students pin on their "fashion" Pinterest boards:

Spoiler alert: This is NOT OMGSOCUUUUUUUTE. This is NOT an outfit. This is a bra and tiny shorts that will show off your lady parts and I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOUR LADY PARTS. I have lady parts of my own and I cover them up, because I'm a motherfucking lady. You should NOT wear this in public. If you do, I reserve the right to judge you and very likely call you slutty. Deal with it.

A Happy Sendoff

Today is B's last day at That One School. I wish him all the luck in the world at his new school. We will (at least I will) miss him and everything he's brought to our lives for the last four years.

“It is so hard to leave—until you leave. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world.”

-John Green, from his novel Paper Towns-

The Last Hurrah

The other day B and I were at school working on some stuff for our (now my...) extra-curricular. Here are some conversations we had:

Me, looking to see if his power strip was still under his desk: Hey, did you leave your thing... [a beat while I realize what I said] DO NOT EVEN START WITH ME.

Then later...

Me: So is this the way I should do it?
B: That's what she said.
Me: SIGH.
B, laughing: You're going to need to call me every once in a while and say inappropriate things.
Me: OK, but you didn't answer my question.
B: What was your question again?
Me: Should I do it--
B: [Giggling.]
Me: Oh my god. I've decided I'm not going to miss you after all.

And finally...

Me: So why did she go down?
B: HAHAHAHA GO DOWN! I bet she went down!
Me: In her salary! Why did her salary go down?! You're IMPOSSIBLE.

Weirdly enough, these are the things I'm going to miss.

All You Need is Love (di di do do do)

The other day one of my extended family members (who I actually like a whole lot, which is rare for that side of the family) posted on Facebook about how they were tired of hearing about (in my words, summarizing) the gay issue and how they aren't going to change their mind and it's not a hate thing, but a freedom of speech thing. I wanted to post something, but I respected their opinion and didn't.

But this is my blog and here's why I'm not going to stop talking about civil rights...

Because it's bullshit. Inequality is bullshit. I don't mean to offend anyone's delicate sensibilities, but it's bullshit.

Earlier this year I had to defend two of my gay students. I really wanted to talk about it when it happened, but I'm not going to get into specifics because I don't think it's a good idea. What I will tell you is that it was bad, it made me angry, and I cried a lot. I was told by someone that I should be careful because people might get the wrong idea about me. Uh, what? You mean that I love my students, all my students, equally, and with that love comes a mother bear inclination to defend them? I would rather someone think I'm gay (which, incidentally, I'm not, but if I was that would be fine because being gay isn't a bad thing) than think I don't care about my students. Even when I don't like them very much (ahem, pretty much this whole year), I still love and support them. One day, when the two students graduate, I'm going to tell them the whole story of what happened, and remind them that they are wonderful and beautiful and deserving of love and happiness.

So I'm going to continue to be pissed at Chick-Fil-A and at people who want to boycott Oreo. I'm going to heatedly argue with my mom about gay marriage during classy Mother's Day breakfast (you have to admit, Mom, that was a good discussion). I'm going to support people who say smart things that support kids or who make videos that support equal rights. I'm going to tell my students to love and support each other.

And if any of that offends you, I'm not sorry, because we all need all the love we can get.

I'm ready for this to be over.

I realize I'm a very lucky girl to be teaching where I teach and to have the coworkers I have. This lesson often presents itself during summer school, where I'm in a different school with different people. For example, here's the conversation I had with a summer school coworker last week:

Her: How's it going today?
Me: You know those days when you just want to punch a kid in the face? It's one of those.
Her: Well...that sounds a little...intense.
Me: This girl's stupidity is intense.
Her: Oh, haha... [backs away]

If I was back at my school this is how that conversation would have gone:

Coworker: How's it going today?
Me: You know those days when you just want to punch a kid in the face? It's one of those.
Coworker: Oh god, right? I swear if we could just punch, things would be better.
Me: I KNOW! Like, why can't you just pay attention?!
Coworker: Because kids are the worst and we love but hate them.

EXACTLY. And there would be a smattering of swearing in there too. And that's why my coworkers are awesome.